January 23, 2015
I've Come A Long Way Baby!
This week we are asked to reflect upon gender identity and sexual orientation. Gender identity is a topic that has come up recently in our household. You see I am the mother of three boys and two girls. My oldest daughter has mentioned upon more than one occasion that her gender was unfairly treated when it came to things like toys and getting cap pistols, BB guns and bows and arrows. As she is correct. Her brothers got all of those things while she and her sister got stuffed animals and dolls, or doll clothes. She also notes that I was more willing to let her brothers wonder wild and free where as she and her sister we protectively hovered over. Again she is correct. As I pondered this as a parent I realized I had more consciousness about making sure my boys were able to play with dolls then I made sure that my girls were able to shoot a gun or bow. One of my sons dressed up as Cinderella for years and I didn't try to change that. I wanted to protect the girls but had faith in the boys that they would know how to handle someone trying to hurt them. As she pointed out I should have had a more equal view of the whole process. As a parent I was doing the best that I knew how, with loving intentions. Once when my oldest daughter was younger she had written a shanty that was quite violent in nature. I don't remember the content of the piece but she told me I made her throw it away. I do remember that it shocked me that she had written something so violent and out of her nature. She is truly a peacemaker and as a parent I didn't see this side of her. I guess I didn't want to see it. All I can say is "What was I thinking?" Fortunately I have some very savvy children. All of them have embraced the idea that all children should be encouraged to explore their identity and gender orientation. I too am less inclined to treat boys and girls somewhat differently albeit with good and loving intentions.
I have grown too through my Montessori training to trust the children to know their way. Children are not blank slates they have personalities and preferences and we as adults need to respect that. We should also help them to be aware of grace and courtesy for all people. This begins at home of course. As a primary teacher in a Montessori environment we endeavor to make sure all are welcome. This includes couples who are gay or lesbian and have children who want or do attend a school I teach or administer in. Most Montessori schools are nonsectarian and thus do not tend to have the prejudice that other schools have in regards to same sex couples or children who are gay or transgender. People are people and most Montessorians are open minded enough to accept others into the community as long as the basic ground rules are observed.
The post below came across my feed on Face book this evening while I was composing this blog. Unfortunately this happens more than we'd like to think. As a gay woman I was lucky to be able to accept my sexual orientation without much angst. But the plight of young people who are gay has not changed nor has the community that should help them through a fragile time in their lives done so. Finding an adequate school for your child should not have to be a game of rights and wrongs. School should be a community where all children and their families are welcomed and supported in what ever way they can, with as much acceptance as possible.
In the case of a parent who would not want their child to be cared for or taught by someone who is gay or transgender I would have to say that if the staff person was very qualified (and I wouldn't be hiring anyone who wasn't) they could check out other schools in the area and give them a referral.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamie-mcgonnigal/antigay-tennessee-school
I feel that making a strong atmosphere of acceptance and love in the community of the school will translate to the children and the families. If peace and acceptance are going to rule in the world it has to begin with me. That means that I model and live the philosophy I have about acceptance of differently abled people, people who are ethnically different than me and people who have a different lifestyle than I do. It really does not matter what that difference is what matters is that I show respect for the person.
Peace and all good
Thanks for dropping by.
this is a blog created for my MS in Early Childhood Studies at Walden University
